


If You Only Knew

by lunarsoo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Pointless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 22:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarsoo/pseuds/lunarsoo
Summary: Hoseok doesn't know that Changkyun knows.





	If You Only Knew

It’s already late into the night when Changkyun gets home. He expects to find everyone asleep but as he enters the living room, he spots Hoseok sprawled on the couch, shirtless. He has one of his notebooks - the ones he uses for writing music - open on his lap as he chews on the end of a pen. Hoseok seems lost in thought, and Changkyun, taking advantage of that like the little shit he is, approaches the man from behind, with light footsteps so he doesn’t get noticed.

Leaning forward just enough to read what’s written on the notebook, Changkyun feels himself blush when his eyes scam over the first lines. So Hoseok is at it again.

Straightening himself up, Changkyun takes a few steps back before clearing his throat in a nonchalant manner, like he’d just gotten there. The low noise catches the other man’s attention and Hoseok looks up, eyes widening when he sees Changkyun. Quickly, he closes the notebook and sits up on the couch.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, lowering himself on the couch next to Hoseok’s feet. The latter doesn’t waste time and props his feet right on Changkyun’s lap, wiggling his toes.

“You’re practicing until late again,” Hoseok points out, a frown making his otherwise smooth forehead wrinkle slightly.

“I am. You’re writing until late again.” Changkyun eyes the notebook still sitting on top of Hoseok’s thighs, causing Hoseok to splay a hand on top of it, protectively.

“It’s just dumb stuff. Nothing serious.” 

“Can I read it?” Changkyun asks even though he knows it’s in vain. Hoseok keeps those notebooks under lock and key, literally. 

“Maybe later,” Hoseok smiles at him and slouches a little further down the couch. Changkyun lets his gaze wander from Hoseok’s face to his bare chest and abdomen, before settling on the notebook again. 

He thinks of pushing for it again, but decides it’s better to let the subject drop. Earlier that week he’d almost let it slip that he’d found one of the notebooks among his own things when he was unpacking. Since they’d shared a bedroom, Hoseok must’ve got their almost identical luggages mixed up, and the notebook ended up in Changkyun’s instead. That was two months ago.

It isn't with pride that Changkyun admits he opened it and went through a few pages before he realized what he was reading was very personal stuff. Most of it were scattered, short verses but there were a few almost completed lyrics. The actual theme of the lyrics varied from heavily romantic to downright erotic. Some of them were pretty explicit, with descriptions of sexual acts between two lovers. Others seemed to focus more on feelings and sensations.  
At first Changkyun was fascinated, sometimes even turned on, but then he started realizing some of the lyrics hit too close to home. It wasn’t something too obvious and in your face, though. No one that wasn’t Changkyun or maybe one of their group members would even have noticed. It were little details that could only have been drawn from actual events in their lives. 

Like the way Hoseok always likes to hug Changkyun from behind and whisper silly things into his ear both in public and in private. Or the fact that, sometimes, Changkyun asks Hoseok to wear his perfume because he likes the way it smells and he’s always talking about he’s gonna get a bottle of it for himself but he never does. And that one time they almost kissed accidentally when playing some stupid game one night when they all had a little too much to drink.

Little things like that were present throughout most of the notebook. The lyrics were also beautifully written. Hoseok really has a way with words and once Changkyun was done going through the pages, he felt the immediate urge to run to Hoseok and tell him how fucking talented he is and good those were. But of course he couldn’t and it still eats at him that Hoseok thinks he has to keep them hidden.

“I’m hungry. Are you?” Changkyun says when he finally snaps out of his revelry. Hoseok has his head thrown back, eyes closed and feet still on Changkyun’s lap. He looks comfortable. Way too comfortable, even. Changkyun pinches Hoseok’s toe to get his attention. “Don’t fall asleep here, again. You need to sleep on a proper bed.”

“Ouch. Stop nagging. You’re turning into Kihyun,” Wonho protests but opens his eyes, sending Changkyun a hurt look.

“Don’t let him hear you.” Changkyun smirks and pinches Hoseok’s other toe. That causes the other to retreat his feet, and kick Changkyun lightly on the side of his thigh.

“He’d think I’m complimenting you.” Hoseok chuckles. He caresses his own chest, absent-mindedly as he looks around the room, before saying, “You’re right, though. I should go to bed, it’s late and I have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“What for?”

“I have to go down to the studio.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday.” Changkyun rolls his eyes. It’s admirable how hard-working Hoseok is, but everyone agrees he needs to take some time to relax too.

“I won’t work too hard, I promise. I’ll be home by noon.” Hoseok smiles before getting up from the couch. “Night, Kyunie.”

“Goodnight, Hyung,” Changkyun replies, returning the smile with a small of his own. He feels a little defeated, though. Tonight could’ve been the night he’d finally get Hoseok to confess his feelings and then he could also let his own feelings be known, but he’s too much of a coward. 

Groaning, Changkyun throws himself face forward on the couch, planning on staying there for the rest of the night.


End file.
